Wherein A Method For Getting An Entire Row To Yourself On A Crowded Flight Is Discussed, or, Shit, Did I Just Say That Out Loud?

Act Nineteen, Scene One

Cast: Man With Italian Man Purse

Setting: 2:56 PM, Gate C9, Portland International Airport

MWILMP: Do you think masturbating at 31,000 feet qualifies you for the mile high club?