Wherein The Fine Line Between Too Much And Way Too Much Is Discussed, or, Screw Plaids And Stripes, I'm Talking Zebra And Leopard

Act Thirteen, Scene Five

Cast: Myself, Abby The Dog

Setting: 9:44 PM, Couch, Home, Watching Project Runway

Myself: Michael's model looks like a bad seventies rumpus room.
Abby The Dog: (Looks at Myself, tilts head.)

Wherein The Majesty Of Love Is Discussed, or, As Lucky In Love As Eva Braun

Act Thirteen, Scene Four

Cast: Myself, Abby The Dog

Setting: 10:34 AM, couch, Home, Watching Flava Of Love 2

Myself: Dumped not once, but twice by Flava Flav? I can't decide if she's pathetic or lucky.
Abby The Dog: (Looks at Myself, tilts head.)

Wherein Principles Are Sacrificed For Good Dental Coverage, or, The Spot Where The Rubber Meets The Road

Act Thirteen, Scene Three

Cast: Myself, My New Gay Neighbor

Setting: 8:06 PM, Backyard, Home

MNGN: How long have you been married?
Myself: Oh, were not married yet.
MNGN: Really?
Myself: We've been talking about May.
MNGN: A May wedding would be delicious.
Myself: I know we should be high minded like Angelina and Brad and wait until its legal for everyone to get married, but I really want health insurance.

Wherein One Beholds The True Power Of A Six Sigma Master Black Belt, or, One Of Three Point Four Per Million

Act Thirteen, Scene Two

Cast: Woman Shopping, Man Waiting

Setting: 2:21 PM, Alla Prima, Hayes Street, San Fancisco

WS: That woman at the counter was really rude.
MW: Sweetie, that woman is way too self involved to be rude.