Wherein Those Damned Kids Today Are Discussed, or, It Is A Sad Moment Indeed When You Realize That You Are Now "Middle Aged"

Act Seventeen, Scene Two

Cast: Man Eating Captain Neon Burger, Man Drinking Fresh Squeezed Greyhound

Setting: 12:37 PM, The Kennedy School, NE 33rd Avenue, Portland

MECNB: So did you go to Hollister last night?
MDFSG: It was awful.
MECNB: Why?
MDFSG: It reminded me how old I am.
MECNB: You're not that old.
MDFSG: I'm way too old to be shopping at Hollister.
MECNB: It couldn't have been that bad.
MDFSG: It looked like they were having a James Blunt look alike contest. I felt like Mr. Furley.

Wherein The Meaning Of A Well Coordinated Ensemble Is Discussed, or, No Straight Man Trims His Goatee That Neatly

Act Seventeen, Scene One

Cast: Man Reading Empires Of The Atlantic World, Woman With Cup Of Chai Tea Latte

Setting: 10:21 AM, Powell Books, 10th and Burnside, Portland

MREOTAW: He's gay.
WWCOCTL: No he isn't.
MREOTAW: He was wearing a beret.
WWCOCTL: So? Maybe he was French.
MREOTAW: It matched his sweater and his socks. He was gay.
WWCOCTL: Ok. He was gay.
MREOTAW: Good. I'm glad you're with me on this.
WWCOCTL: Should I be concerned that you noticed that his socks matched his beret?

Wherein The Difficulty Of Replacating A Past Success Is Discussed, or, He Made Leonardo DiCaprio Look Like An Actor - What Can't He Do?

Act Sixteen, Scene Five

Cast: Myself, London Tube Mug Full Of Pigma Micron Pens

Setting: 9:22 PM, Home, Desk, Surfing The Net

Myself: First Terminator, then Titanic and now the tomb of Jesus? What now? The only way he 'llever be able to top this is to get Danny Bonaduce an Oscar for Best Actor.
COWCWTBS: [Does nothing.]

Wherein The Tragedy Of Being Bad At Something Horrible Is Discussed, or, Why On Earth Would You Stay To Answer Questions?

Act Sixteen, Scene Four

Cast: Myself, Bowl Of Thai Curry

Setting: 11:23 PM, Couch, Home, Watching Dateline

Myself: Its bad enough that the whole world finds out you're a child molester, but these guys aren't even good at it.
BOTC: [Does nothing]

Wherein The Fine Line Between Prophet And Total Whack Job Is Explored, or, Like Henry Rollins With Fewer Tattoos And Better Grammer

Act Sixteen, Scene Three

Cast: Myself, Copy Of William Carlos Williams' The Broken Span

Setting: 9:22 PM, Gold Room, Powell's Books, 10th and Burnside, Portland

Myself: "The Wisdom of Edgar Cayce". I'd have thought it would be a much shorter book.
COWCWTBS: [Does nothing.]