Wherein The Importance Of Product Placement Is Discussed, or, Better Make That Two Pounds Of Truffles

Act Twenty, Scene Five

Cast: Man In Striped Shirt, Woman In VW T

Setting: 8:34 PM, Women's Department, Boston Store, West Towne, Madison

MISS: Is it right to put the Godiva display next to the plus sized women's department?
WIVT: Nope. Just smart marketing.

Wherein The Difficulty Of Finding An Untapped Market Is Discussed, or, You Want To Sell What? To Whom?

Act Twenty, Scene Four

Cast: Man In Red Hat, Woman In Orange Sweater

Setting: 8:50 PM, table by the window, Cosi, State Street, Madison

MIRH: I had a great idea for a business today.
WIOS: Again?
MIRH: Attitude? You're giving me attitude?
WIOS: After the whole Cool Ranch flavored communion wafers debacle, yes, I think a bit of attitude is warranted.
MIRH: Oh, this is much better than that.
WIOS: Against my better judgement, I'll bite. What is your new idea?
MIRH: Mint jelly flavored lubricant.
WIOS: Who would want that?
MIRH: Lots of guys in New Zealand and Scotland.
WIOS: I'm speechless.
MIRH: In my defence, you did ask.

Wherein The Phrase Turnabout Is Fair Play Is Discussed, or, Just What The Hypocritical Bastard Deserves

Act Twenty, Scene Three

Cast: Myself, Abby The Dog

Setting: 5:41 PM, Couch, Home, Watching A&E

Myself: I should pitch a show to Telemundo where a bounty hunter sneaks into the United States and drags Dog's dumb ass back to Mexico.
Abby The Dog: [Looks at Myself, tilts head.]

Wherein The Phrase Taking Candy From A Baby Is Discussed, or, It Isn't Exactly Rocket Surgery

Act Twenty, Scene Two

Cast: Myself, Abby The Dog

Setting: 3:11 PM, Couch, Home, Watching Mtv

Myself: Punking Britney Spears is kind of like punking the kid who played Corky on "Life Goes On".
Abby The Dog: [Looks at Myself, tilts head.]

Wherein The Definition Of The Word Misrepresentation Is Discussed, or, Can You Really Call Stale Pretzels Haute Cuisine?

Act Twenty, Scene One

Cast: Man In Blue Sweater

Setting: 1:07 PM, Gate C17, PDX

MIBS: Gate Gourmet? That is quite possibly the single greatest misnomer in human history.

Wherein An Odd Blend Of Bad Floral Prints Is Discussed, or, Is There A Helen Kellor School Of Interior Design?

Act Nineteen, Scene Five

Cast: Man In Driving Moccasins

Setting: 10:07 PM, Room 304, Bozeman Inn, Bozeman, Montana

MIDM: This room looks like it was decorated by Laura Ashley's white trash cousin.

Wherein An Intense Feeling Of Deja Vu Is Discussed, or, Parachute Pants And Member's Only Jackets And Espadrilles , Oh My!

Act Nineteen, Scene Four

Cast: Man In Khaki Pants, Woman In Red Sweatshirt

Setting: 6:41 PM, Rushmore Mall, Rapid City, South Dakota

MIKP: Wow! They have a Waldenbooks! I didn't know they still existed.
WIRS: Me either. Look, there's an arcade.
MIKP: Its like the mall that time forgot. All they need is a Chess King and it'd be every mall I was in during high school.
WIRS: Whats Chess King?

Wherein The Limits Of Modern Pharmacology Are Discussed, or, Please God, Make It Stop!

Act Nineteen, Scene Three

Cast: Myself, Abby The Dog

Setting: 11:51 PM, Couch, Home, Surfing The Net

Myself: There must be some drug that I can take to make me forget I heard Alanis Morissette sing "My Humps".
Abby The Dog: [Looks at Myself, tilts head.]