Wherein Abby The Dog Accidentally Steps On The Remote, or, A Backhanded Kind Of Compliment

Act Eight, Scene Four

Cast: Myself, Abby The Dog

Setting: 8:27 PM, Couch, Home, Watching A&E

Myself: You know, saying "Brought to you by the people who produce Dog the Bounty Hunter", is sort of like saying "Brought to you by the guy who gave you genital warts".
Abby The Dog: (Looks at Myself, tilts head.)

Wherein The New Kid On The Block Is Discussed, or, That Guy Is Awfully Pretty To Be Working In Retail

Act Eight, Scene Four

Cast: Man Walking In Mall With Banana Republic Bag, Woman Walking In Mall With Filene's Bag

Setting: 2:43 PM, Meriden Mall, Meriden, CT

MWIMWBRB: Oh, look, they opened a Hollister.
WWIMWFB: What kind of store is it?
MWIMWBRB: Its like Abercrombie without the homoerotic undertone.

Wherein Abby The Dog Offers A Lesson In Mathematics, or, If A = B And B = C, Then John McCain Is Still A Tool

Act Eight, Scene Three

Cast: Myself, Abby The Dog

Setting: 11:15 PM, Couch, Home, Watching QVC

Myself: If you drew a Venn diagram of the people who watch Crossing Over and the people who buy the crap on QVC, the intersection would be made up entirely of people who would vote for Hillary Clinton.
Abby The Dog: (Looks at Myself, tilts head.)

Wherein The State Of Our Judicial System Is Discussed, or, The Wise Man Plans For Rain On A Sunny Day

Act Eight, Scene Two

Cast: Woman Drinking Cosmo One Table Over, Man Eating Shabu-shabu One Table Over

Setting: 12:05 AM, Masa, Time Warner Center, New York

WDCOTO: I've been reading your blog. I enjoy it very much.
MES-SOTO: I don't really think of it as a blog. I consider it the groundwork for a future insanity defense.

Wherein The Theory Of Relativity Is Discussed, or, How On Earth Did Fox Let That Guy Get Away

Act Eight, Scene One

Cast: Myself, Abby The Dog

Setting: 2:51 AM, Home, Couch, Channel Surfing

Myself: I don't know which show makes me feel better about myself, Blown Away or Dog The Bounty Hunter.
Abby The Dog: (Looks at Myself, tilts head.)