Wherein The Importance Of Product Placement Is Discussed, or, Better Make That Two Pounds Of Truffles

Act Twenty, Scene Five

Cast: Man In Striped Shirt, Woman In VW T

Setting: 8:34 PM, Women's Department, Boston Store, West Towne, Madison

MISS: Is it right to put the Godiva display next to the plus sized women's department?
WIVT: Nope. Just smart marketing.

Wherein The Difficulty Of Finding An Untapped Market Is Discussed, or, You Want To Sell What? To Whom?

Act Twenty, Scene Four

Cast: Man In Red Hat, Woman In Orange Sweater

Setting: 8:50 PM, table by the window, Cosi, State Street, Madison

MIRH: I had a great idea for a business today.
WIOS: Again?
MIRH: Attitude? You're giving me attitude?
WIOS: After the whole Cool Ranch flavored communion wafers debacle, yes, I think a bit of attitude is warranted.
MIRH: Oh, this is much better than that.
WIOS: Against my better judgement, I'll bite. What is your new idea?
MIRH: Mint jelly flavored lubricant.
WIOS: Who would want that?
MIRH: Lots of guys in New Zealand and Scotland.
WIOS: I'm speechless.
MIRH: In my defence, you did ask.

Wherein The Phrase Turnabout Is Fair Play Is Discussed, or, Just What The Hypocritical Bastard Deserves

Act Twenty, Scene Three

Cast: Myself, Abby The Dog

Setting: 5:41 PM, Couch, Home, Watching A&E

Myself: I should pitch a show to Telemundo where a bounty hunter sneaks into the United States and drags Dog's dumb ass back to Mexico.
Abby The Dog: [Looks at Myself, tilts head.]

Wherein The Phrase Taking Candy From A Baby Is Discussed, or, It Isn't Exactly Rocket Surgery

Act Twenty, Scene Two

Cast: Myself, Abby The Dog

Setting: 3:11 PM, Couch, Home, Watching Mtv

Myself: Punking Britney Spears is kind of like punking the kid who played Corky on "Life Goes On".
Abby The Dog: [Looks at Myself, tilts head.]

Wherein The Definition Of The Word Misrepresentation Is Discussed, or, Can You Really Call Stale Pretzels Haute Cuisine?

Act Twenty, Scene One

Cast: Man In Blue Sweater

Setting: 1:07 PM, Gate C17, PDX

MIBS: Gate Gourmet? That is quite possibly the single greatest misnomer in human history.