Wherein The Difficulties Of Meeting For The First Time Are Discussed, or, A Bad Date Is Often Better Than No Date

Act Seven, Scene Five

Cast: Man Eating Eggs Benedict, Man Drinking Tea

Setting: 2:47 PM, Resto Cafe Oxford, rue Sainte-Catherine,Montreal

MEEB: I heard that you let Nicole set you up on a blind date.
MDT: Yes. Her name was Maria.
MEEB: How did it go?
MDT: Its not a good sign when the transvestite with hairy arms and a moustache of Magnum like proportions at the next table looks more appealing than your date.
MEEB: That bad?
MDT: Worse.
MEEB: How could it be worse?
MDT: Everything she was wearing was from the Marge Simpson collection.
MEEB: Who? The transvestite?
MDT: No. My date.
MEEB: Are you going to see her again?
MDT: Tuesday.

Wherein The Difficulties Of Being Someplace Else Are Discussed, or, Like No English I've Ever Heard

Act Seven, Scene Four

Cast: Myself, Abby The Dog

Setting: 9:51 AM, Home, Couch, Watching CBC News: Sunday

Myself: I wish there were subtitles.
Abby The Dog: (Looks at Myself, tilts head.)

Wherein The Difficulties Of Raising Children Are Discussed, or, Who Was It That Green Lighted That Title

Act Seven, Scene Two

Setting: 9:25 PM, Tru, North Saint Claire Street, Chicago

Cast: Man In Brioni Suit, Woman In Manolo Blahnik Shoes

MIBS: I saw a commercial for a new show on TLC called 'Honey We're Killing The Kids'.
WIMBS: Oh?
MIBS: Its hosted by John and Patsy Ramsey.

Wherein The First Amendment To The Constitution Is Discussed, or, Stuck Between The Osmonds And The Osbournes

Act Seven, Scene One

Cast: Man On Elliptical Trainer One, Man On Elliptical Trainer Two

Setting: 3:27 PM, YMCA, Madison West

MOETO: I see they sold the house next to yours.
MOETT: Yeah. A couple of Jehovah's Witness' bought it.
MOETO: Really?
MOETT: The first thing they did after they moved in was put up a "no soliciting" sign.

Wherein The Move That Will Bring Down Netflix Is Discussed, or, Its Better Than Doing Dinner Theater In Escondido With Jenilee Harrison

Act Six, Scene Five

Cast: Myself, Abby The Dog

Setting: 11:17 AM, Home, desk, surfing the net

Myself: This is amazing! For the bargain price of forty eight bucks William Shatner will personally send me a DVD of a movie that I have never heard of each month for a year. God bless you, TJ Hooker!
Abby The Dog: (Looks at Myself, tilts head.)