Wherein The Perils Of Seeing A Psychologist Who Earned His Degree Online Are Discussed, or, ...Fool Me Twice, I Must Have Gone To Stanford

Act Ten, Scene Four

Cast: Man In Seat 1B, Woman In Seat 1C

Setting: 11:07 AM, America West Flight 53, JFK to LAS

WIS1C: So how are things going with Dr. Feinman?
MIS1B: I had to stop seeing him.
WIS1C: What!? Why?
MIS1B: I found out he owns a couple of fast food places.
WIS1C: What's wrong with that?
MIS1B: How can I respect the advice of a man dumb enough to buy TWO Arby's?
WIS1C: Really? Arby's? Two of them?
MIS1B: If they had been Taco Bell's, I would have kept seeing him.
WIS1C: God, that's awful. It would be like finding out your son's teacher went to Michigan State.

Wherein All The Possible Meanings Of The Word "Screwed" Are Discussed, or, From Lee To Lee Harvey In One Simple Step

Act Ten, Scene Three

Cast: Myself, Abby The Dog

Setting: 6:47 PM, Couch, Home, Watching CNN

Myself: You know you're fucked when the reporters start using your middle name.
Abby The Dog: (Looks at Myself, tilts head.)

Wherein The Mining Of A Heretofore Untapped Demo Is Discussed, or, Working The Graveyard Shift At The Methadone Clinic

Act Ten, Scene Two

Cast: Unemployed Graphic Designer At Next Table, Woman With Unemployed Graphic Designer At Next Table

Setting: 6:14 PM, JJ's, West 48th Street, Kansas City

WWUGDANT: How did your interview with Hallmark go?
UGDANT: Pretty well I think.
WWUGDANT: Did they tell you what you'd be doing?
UGDANT: They're starting a boutique line of sympathy cards for the partners of men with ED.
WWUGDANT: Wow. If the number of Viagra ads I've seen lately is any indicator, you'll be working 80 hours a week.

Wherein The Meaning Of The Word "Plenty" Is Parsed, or, Poh-tay-toe or Pah-tay-toe

Act Ten, Scene One

Cast: Man In Bar Arguing With Girl Friend, Girl Friend Of Man In Bar

Setting: 11:14 PM, Bar, Joe's Stone Crab, South Beach

GFOMIB: I touch your cock plenty.
MIBAWGF: No, I touch my cock plenty. You only touch it occasionally.

Wherein The Inadvisability Of Flipping Houses Near A Faultline Is Discussed, or, For A Pacifist You Have Quite A Temper

Act Nine, Scene Five

Cast: Long Haired Man In Brown Crocs, Short Haired Man In Mondale-Ferraro T-Shirt

Setting: 7:14 PM, Bar, Lalime, Gilman Street, Berkeley

LHMIBC: I hear Sasha set you up with one of her friends.
SHMIM-FT: Yeah, Alice, we went out a few days ago.
LHMIBC: How did it go?
SHMIM-FT: When I went to pick her up she was trying to kill a fly with a copy of Silent Spring. It went downhill from there.
LHMIBC: Bummer.